Diet books yet to be written...

1. The Jessica Simpson Diet - How to Tone Your Ass, Grow Your Boobs and Shrink Your Brain

2. The Feces Diet - You Aren't Going to Crave This Shit

3. Oprah Winfrey Diet #4567

4. The Rosie O'Donnell Diet - I'm Fat, I'm Gay and I Don't Give a Fuck About What You Think

5. The Trailer Trash Diet - The Britney Spears Guide to Getting Fat, Marrying a Loser and Finding the Kabbalah

6. The Oprah Diet #4568

7. Dr. Phil Goes Mental on Your Fat Ass

8. You're Funny, You're Intelligent, You're Kind - But You're Fat So No One Cares About Any of That Diet

9. Oprah Gets Slim #4569

10. The Third World Diet - The Mariah Carey Guide to Being Skinny Like Those Poor Starving Kids, but not with all Those Flies and Death and Stuff

11. The How to Get Skinnier Than That Bitch That Stole Your Boyfriend, Got Your Promotion, and Got The Apartment You Wanted Diet

12. American Women DO Get Fat - The Definitive Guide to Finishing Everything on Your Plate

13. Skipping The Salad Bar - How I Lost 200 lbs. Eating Sheep Placenta

14. The Kabbalah Diet - How a Red String Around my Wrist Changed My Life and My Faith

15. Bob Greene Slithers Away The Pounds

16. The Oprah Book Club Diet #4570

17. The Fat Actress Diet - How Kirstie Alley was fired from Jenny Craig and then ate a Small Child

18. The Skinny Fat Diet - Losing Weight is Easy When You're Blessed with Good Genes

19. The Subway Diet - You know that guy that used to be fat? But, now he's just ugly?

20. The Angelina Jolie Diet - How to Save the World, Adopt a Bunch of Those Kids that Mariah was Talking About, Steal the Best Looking Man in Hollywood, All While Keeping Trim and Fit in 10 Days or Less

Any others?

Todays food:
Breakfast - Tim Hortons Bagel and Creamcheese
Lunch - Gardennay Soup, Spicy Peanut Tuna and Triscuits
Dinner - Olive and Caper Spread, Baguette and Red Wine

Total: 1243 cal, 25 g fat, 180 g carbs, 47 g protein

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