I have IBS - I'm sure many of you are familiar with it, and I won't go into the poopy details with you, but basically it boils down to this - I fart a lot. That's right - it's always there, sitting just beneath the surface waiting to burst forth at any unannounced moment.One of the most signature moments regarding my gaseous tendencies was with Matthew after we had just started dating. We were joking around, and I was sitting on top of him in an attempt to tickle him and let one rip. Loudly. I tried to ignore it, hoping he hadn't noticed, but no such luck. He said "hey, you farted!" and laughed a lot. I was mortified - I had just farted on my new boyfriend. I instantly thought of that Sex in the City episode where Carrie farts in front of Mr. Big, and is worried that he's going to dump her because of it - thankfully Matthew isn't Mr. Big. Though he couldn't stop laughing, he did his best to reassure me and try and make me feel slightly less embarrassed (this is just one of the reasons that I love him).
So why do I bring up this embarrassing fact about myself up? Well today was Day 2 of Boot Camp and we were doing pair exercises with a towel. It consisted of tricep raises where I held a towel on one end, and the other person kneels down behind you and provides resistance for the movement. So there I was standing there with the towel held over my head, and my partner kneeling down behind me - and I farted.
That's right I farted right into another woman's face at 5:30 on a Tuesday morning.
I pretended nothing happened; I mean what else could I do? She was kind enough not to draw attention to the fact at the moment - but I am pretty certain that she is at work right now telling all her co-workers about the girl that farted in her face this morning.
Boot Camp Update:
Otherwise Camp was great this morning - we did loads of abs and upper body work. My lower body is in extreme pain (good pain) this morning.
My food yesterday consisted of:
Breakfast: 1 pkg oatmeal, 1 cup skim milk, 1/2 cup egg white, 1 tsp. olive oil
Snack: 1/3 cup brown rice, 1 can tuna
Lunch: 1/2 sweet potato, 1 pollock fillet, 1 cup red peppers
Snack 2: 1 cup red peppers, 2 laughing cow cheese
Dinner: 1 cup asparagus, 2 fillet pickerel, 1 tsp. olive oil
Snack 3: 1/8 cup soy ice cream (shut up - I was hungry)
10 comments:
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL...
Oh man Purl
you poor girl
IBS sucks. I had colostridium difficile for 10 months and it nearly killed me (literally) it gives you the symptoms of IBS until you are rid of it. I sympathize. Your eating day sounded great though, it doesn't look like much food but I'm sure there is huge benefits.
Oh my gosh! How embarrassing! I once accidentally burped in this guy I had a crush on's face. It was a stinky one, too. He made an "ick!" face but didn't say anything about it. I'm still totally embarrassed just thinking about it... Keep rockin' that boot camp and Sonoma diet! You're my hero!
You are a champion. Keep up the great work! My husband thinks I don't fart - seriously.lol
LOL! Poor Purl!
I have IBS too and exercising has the same effect on me. I work out in the gym at work and I'm terrified that I'm going to fart in front of the Controller or the Manager of IT who are usually there when I work out!
I'm so impressed with you for doing this boot camp (especially the food, yuck!). I looked into it here, but there nearest one would require 2 hours of commuting each morning. I don't think I could make it to work on time. Oh well.
I damn near wet myself laughing at work. My coworkers think I'm nuts but your entry was so funny.
Can't wait for the next entry
I have IBS too, but it's become such a fact of my life that I barely notice anymore! I imagine what I would do in your situation today- I would have been like, I'm so sorry, oh my god, that's so embarassing- and then get embarassed at the fact I'd just drawn MORE attention to myself. *sigh*
Thank you for the laugh, as always.
Sweet. Mother. Of. Pearl .
I about fell out of my chair laughing. Oh Purl..
I don't think I've laughed that hard in ages! Purl! I love you!!! I am a big fartbag too! So it's nice to know that it's not just me!
You are a far braver woman that I.
It seems we have much in common! I stopped doing aerobics for this very reason. I also broke the fart barrier with my husband first - only I did it voluntarily. I *told* him I had just let one rip when I didn't have to! It was a good move; it got the uncomfortableness over and done with and made way for years of worry free flatulance. If only all other situations could be like that!
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