The other night I was at an event and there was a girl there that must have weighed over 400 lbs. And I'm not trying to be cruel, but it was hard not to look at her. I know you've all done it, or even had it happen to you, and you don't want to look at her, because you know she is probably painfully aware that people are looking at her, but you can't help yourself. And, you feel bad for doing it. But this always raises an interesting question for me - isn't there a point as your approach a dangerously unhealthy weight that you say to yourself that this must stop? And why hasn't she reached it yet? I always think of this when I see those shows on TV about 600 lb + people who can't even get out of bed anymore - are they just past any point of hope by then? Or is there still a way to make a change for the better?
Along the way to gaining weight which we all know happens slowly over time, there are points where we think "ooh I'm getting fat", but when do you finally do something about it? Is it when you can't fit into regular sized clothing anymore? Is it when you start to feel people watching what you're eating in restaurants? Is it when you're told to buy a second seat on an airplane? Is it when you start to avoid people because of your weight? At what point do you tell yourself that enough is enough?
Obviously this point is different for everyone - and I can only presume that if you're reading this blog then you've already reached that point. I remember when my moment came in University when I had gained over 30 lbs. It was when I was about to go up a third dress size in two years that I had that moment - I just didn't feel good about myself anymore. So I dropped the weight and vowed to keep it off forever. I've done pretty well with that over the last few years until about a year and half ago where major life changes resulted in my gaining 20lbs. again. So I started over again - only this time I'm older and it's not as easy as it once was. I'm now about half way back to my goal, and the progress is slow. But I am persevering...
Boot Camp Update:
I cannot express how frustrated I am that I couldn't go again this morning. I am still at home sick with cold. I am going to try very hard to go tomorrow - I never thought I would be so angry at not being able to go.
Vacation Recap in Pictures
7 hours ago
33 comments:
Mine scary point has been a combination of what the scale says (though often that just moves, you know. Scary used to be 150, then it was 160, then it was 170, now it's 180), and how clothes are fitting (or not). When I get to that frustrating place where the straight size 14's are not fitting, that's usually the motivator for me.
I think I have lived in denial about my weight because I never had a problem most of my life. So with the pregnancy of my 3rd daughter I got up to 243lbs!!!! (she only weighed 9 of those btw)even then..I was like, "I'm not that big..." but I was. And my wake-up call was when my dad described me as a 'big person' I was like, "who..? me...? big..?" it actually devastated me, but I really needed it. he wasn't trying to be mean, he was just describing me as he saw it...the truth hurts but promotes change.
Don't worry about boot camp Nisha...you have all spring and summer in the gorgeous weather to sweat your butt off doing lunges and such..you need to get better first! Did you see my updated weight on my blog...good gosh Purl, i weighed in last night and Ugh... :(
Im at 400 pounds, and I will tell you. Yes there is a point that you realise that, and that point is uaully cured by food. You become depressed, and you keep eating and eating. It is really hard, once you hit a certain weight to make any changes. And than you become bigger and bigger, until you are on TV.
As for your other questiong, people like that can, and obviously do have hope. I am an example, that lady you saw is an example as well. The people at the gym I see that are huge, they are examples, they are all people trying to change.
Good luck on the bootcamp
Tyler
For me, it was seeing the 250-something on the doctor's scale. I had never weighed that much or even thought it possible. I have a neighbor that weighs like 400 pounds and I feel so bad for her. worry for her children too...I'm sure it has affected their self esteem as well.
In regards to exercise...I feel your frustration. Yesterday the administrative assistant was out sick (smart woman), however, it made my day really busy. As a result, I was unable to go to the gym during my lunch break. I had lifted in the morning, but really rely on my lunch time workouts for my cardio. I was bummed...especially since I took the weekend off too. I worry if I miss more than two days of exercise in a row. It is so easy for me to develop bad habits, so I have to push myself to stay on track.
For me it was seeing 204lbs on my doctor's scale and having her suggest weight loss drugs...that threw me. Next day I joined weight watchers. So far I've lost 28lbs, half way there but still a long way to go.
I feel for you about boot camp, I missed the Sunday practice run/walk do being away and actually felt bad and that I was missing something important. I don't think I ever felt that way about exercise before.
I don't know what a scary weight would be for me. I've never looked at the scale and freaked out at the number, I usually just look at myself in the mirror and think "I would look better if I lost weight," then I go about doing it.
I watched a show called The Half Ton man last week and it was so disturbing. I felt bad for him, but also frustrated that he and his wife let it go so far. I told Scott that if he ever gained so much weight he couldn't get out of bed, that there was no way I'd ever be running to the store for chips and Coke - he'd be on the world's strictest diet until he could get off the bed and feed himself.
Mine was totally when I couldn't fit into my jeans that were already a size I wasn't happy about. I refused to go up another pant size... so I started Weight Watchers.
The funny part is... I lost 40 pounds and only went down ONE pant size. Damn my hips! haha. But hopefully I'll get down at least one more size when (yes when.. not if) I hit my goal weight!
Thanks for the thought provoking post!
My scary weight was 143 (I'm 5'1). I know its not such a huge weight, but it made me realize 'omg - this is not me'. I was an elite athelete for a good majority of my life. What made me lose weight was when ppl would ask 'Oh, do you go to the gym'. I realized that doing it alone was not working. I needed help. I realized from pictures that the way I looked on the outside was not how I felt on the inside.
For me, I always felt like I needed to do something about the weight and always kept trying without success. That is until I found out that I outweighed my husband (boyfriend at the time). That will really put a dent in your sense of femininity!
I was 186 and he was 175 and that was a real eye opener that motivated me to get some of the fat off.
I actually had a similar thought the other day and felt bad for it but this woman who was about 5'2" and over 350 lbs. maybe was walking through the parking lot and I looked at my husband and he looked at me and we both said, "so glad we got that elliptical". It was more of a statement about US not wanting to end up that big again, not about her.
My scary weight is not a number as much as the idea of ever being bigger than I am now. Like...I started at 340 pounds so yah, that would be a scary weight but since then, I have consistently lost or maintained the loss, so if I start going up (which happens yearly at Xmas) I start to freak out.
But yeah, we all look at people and hope we don't get that big; hell, even I want to reach out and tell them about getting healthy but it took a medical trauma to get me to do something and who am I to tell someone what to do....sigh.
Oh and I wanted to make it clear that my hubby is NOT a meanie about overweight women....he actually was over 350 pounds at one point in his life and lost 100 pounds too, so he is a sympathizer ;)
Pushing 200 was scary for me. I remember searching everywhere for size 14 jeans that would fit me (refused to buy anything bigger) and being so afraid to go near a scale. I may have actually weighed over 200, because I didn't weigh myself until I'd been dieting a month, and at that point I was around 190.
For me it wasn't so much a magic number that is scary. My wake up call was realizing that I weighed almost as much at that point as I had when I was pregnant with my kids. This was especially scary since after each pregnancy I went back to my pre-pregnancy weight and then over about a year and a half I creeped back up.
Mine has been when I realized that I had more clothes in my closet that didn't fit, than I had clothes that did fit.
For me it was when I got to size 20 pants at Old Navy and realized that if I gained anymore I would have to shop at a plus size store and it scared me. Also seeing the scale go up and over 220lb made me decide that it was enough.
I think that I am facing that fear right now. I know that I am at a point that I have to do something. That it isn't just about me any more. I've gone past the point of needing to lose weight out of sheer vanity, but instead for the health and wellness that I need to be the best mother to my children that I can be. I want to be around for a long long time!
These are the best comments ever. I'm crying again (however, am emotional mess tonight).
For me, my scary weight was 200 pounds and I got damn close to it. And the idea of shopping at Adition Elle scared me too. I like the Gap and it's generous sizes.
my scary point is happening now, when I feel those eyes on me and I know they are wondering why I even bother getting out of bed and why I don't just kill myself now. I weigh about 105kg, and I think I'm scared of failing to lose the weight, but no worries there, cos it doesn't seem to be coming off anyway.
This was a really provocative blog.
Hope you get better soon so you can go kick Jasons boot camp ass!
160. One day I stepped on the scale and it said 160...that was tough for me as I was completely out of shape so it was 160 of fat, only fat. And it was noticeable on my stomach even where I've never had a problem, I'm a pear all the way. But I had maybe 2 pairs of pants that fit at the time.
I also have a very fit husband and didn't want to become his 'big woman'...I want to be able to keep up, and be a fit little family eventually when we have kids.
It clicked then. I joined WW that week.
For me - it's right now. I want to be healthy and active for my family.
I have been a lurker for a while, but this is as good of time as any to come out. I always said if I couldn't fit into my size 10 (any pants that had 10 on them) or my husband clothes or hit 150 lbs that would do it. but then I got pregnant and passed that mark by far. Then I said...well, the rationalization went on. But at least I am doing something about it.
I joined WW when I was about to shop for size 20 pants. I was an 18 and weighed 180 pounds. I am 5'1. I lost 30 pounds, gained some back and now my scary number is 160. I hope that someday soon my scary number will be 150.
For me it was at 347 when I realized that people no longer made eye contact with me. I had dissapeared. I had WLS shoetly there after and lost 100 lbs. I have since gained back some (20 lbs) and have been fighting to lose via WW. I am still overweight but I am no longer invisible. For me the call to action was when I realized that WLS was not brain surgery and that if I was not careful that I would end right back up where I started and worse.
I am angry still about WLS - so much risk for so little gain but it has made me realize that I need to figure out not what I eat but why!
My scary weight was when I thought I'd have to start shopping at Lane Bryant (the plus sized store) because I wasn't fitting into my size 16 pants from the Gap anymore. I did WW then and lost about 45-50lbs. Now my scary weight is 160, which is higher that my goal weight of 155 (I'm 5'8"). I just hit that a couple weeks ago so I'm back on the bandwagon trying to get that number back down.
FOr me it is when my jeans get too tight - the thing is, most of my jeans are the same jeans I wear in the 270's and the 240's... when in the 240's like now, I can take them off without even undoing them, they are so big on me. So when the day comes that they are really snug, I know bad things have happened.
There are other things, though... like when a few years ago I went to Six Flags with some high school friends, and one roller coaster I got onto, the seatbelt didn't fit me, and they made me get off. The other girls went on the ride and afterwards were all asking me why I hadn't ridden. I told them I had gotten scared. I was so humiliated.
Christie I remember that happening to me at Canada's wonderland. That I would say was one of my worst feelings ever, and the main reason I avoid places like that now. Looking forward to going again when I get down to my goal weight. :)
Isn't it interesting how the "scary point" is so different for all of us?
For me, it was realizing that I'd destroyed my knees. Between being overweight most of my life and going through three pregnancies (two of them twin pregnancies) I've nearly worn away all the cartilage in my knees - they sound like rice krispies when I walk up the stairs and hurt a lot. I went to the doctor and she diagnosed me with osteoarthritis. Much of the reason I have it is hereditary - but I am sure I could have staved it off for another decade or two if I'd lost 50 pounds, y'know. When I was 20 or so!
I really got back into WW then. And my joints already are feeling better.
My scary weight was 258, wearing a size 23 and my lower back was killing me. Every morning I was in pain with my lower back. I had lost all the way down to 178 or 174, tone up, wore a 10 in low rise jeans for two years, then ended up in a depressing situation with my job and just binge/emotional eating for a few months and I am so mad at myself for doing that. I should of just worked out or find a punching bag! Anyways, I didn't gain all the weight back but it was enough, 238 and once again my back was killing me. I have so far lost down to 225 and my back is letting up. I believe that is my warning there. My frame is not going to let me carry that weight unless I am looking forward to be bed ridden which I am not. This time I believe I am in a better control of myself.
For me it was when my doctor said that I really needed to do something. After the first 6 months of being married, I'd packed on an additional ten pounds, and was now technically "obese", and weighed even more with my clothes on at the doctor's office. I talked to her about getting pregnant in a couple years and she told me flat out that I would have an easier time of it, especially since I'm over 30, if I got down to a healthier weight before getting pregnant. I had always thought that because my cholesterol and BP were good, that it wasn't affecting my health, but I hadn't really thought about the additional weight I'd gain while pregnant, or how hard it would be to take off. It was an eye opener.
Wow, what a great post... My scary weight is 200- which I've surpassed by 40 lbs. at my highest. But i remmeber the day I went over 200 for the first time, in college, and realizing I had no control over my eating. So I just gave up and kept eating like crap.
I just saw under 200 for the first time in over 5 years today. I'm hoping that as I continue to lose, that scary number will keep dropping too, but that I know I can conquer it
Interesting post. For me, I decided to do something when a friend of mine got sick of my whinging and told me to shut up and do something about it. I got to 100kg and found it so hard to find clothes that didn't make me look like an older woman. I still didn't really do anything until another friend who was leaving for England said to me that I was looking for a momma and that was the final straw! I wasn't going to look like that by the time he got back.
I think if society in general would take a more relaxed, more health oriented approach to this it would eliminate what I think is a huge problem for huge people: yo yo dieting. Some people are so panicked about the idea of becoming like those misshapen blobs that they accidentally do the wrong thing and push themselves to the limit all at once. I'm talking 500-800 calorie diets. But they don't realize that the chances that they'll maintain this sort of lifestyle are very slim especially if it's a strong deviation from their normal lifestyle. So after panicking and puking up their sins, they get tired of it and return to their former lifestyle. This usually means their efforts are squandered as their body piles on double what they lost. You also don't need remind these people in particular about "getting healthy". Today you can't pick up a book or tune into any media without some headline blaring in your face, "FAT KILLS, OBESITY WILL BE THE DEATH OF YOU ALL, EVERYBODY PANIC!" If people would just calm down and shift their focus away from "weight" and focus on the miraculous benefits of a truly health lifestyle than at least this troubling aspect of weight might diminish.
My scary weight was 145 when I was a freshman in college.. I'm 5'7".. but now once I'm over 115 I'm scared. When my clothes get loose I'm happy but once they start getting tight I freak out...
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