Feeling munchy

Alright, I've been strong this week and have been the Princess Diana of good eating. (You know like adored and mourned by millions and visited the sick and infirm and shook hands with that guys with AIDS while looking perfect in my Chanel suit good?) Yah, you know what I mean.

After a model day of food I am totally getting that evening munchie thing that tends to be my ruin and downfall. I am craving chocolate or some chips or something. I have lots of flex points left for the week and it is already Thursday, but I musn't. I thought coming here might help. Perhaps getting it out on paper or whatever you call this would quell the cries of my stomach. Turns out writing about it makes me want it even more. Crap.

OK - I did have room in my points for a glass of wine... so I'll have to be happy with that. And did have some Nutella this afternoon, and as much as I love Nutella, it's just not the same. Actually, maybe that's what I should be blaming my chocolate craving on?

Food for today:
oatmeal w/ brown sugar -3 pts.
roasted red pepper wrap - 6 pts.
mushroom pasta - 6.5 pts.
wine - 3 pts.
Total - 22 pts. (Ok so I went over a little anyway. Pfft.)

To post or not to post

Wow, I'm posting again. I need to post.

I think.

I don't know what happened to the feeling I used to get from this place, but I know that like all things in life I tend to have a short attention span. It's the reason I can lose weight, but not maintain it. It's the reason I can go to the gym for a while, but quickly lose interest. I'm not sure how typical this is. I know we are all prone to fits of boredom and procrastination, but lately, there is seems to be SO much going on all the time, that it starts to overwhelm me.

For the last year and half things have changed at breakneck speed. I quit my job, went back to school, got a new job for a while, am waiting for a newer job, got engaged and basically started my life over again.

While it's all thrilling and I wouldn't change a single thing for all the chocolate in Switzerland, it still feels like I might stumble, fall and break my coccyx once again (see old post from last February).

So here is me in nutshell since I once new people in this crazy land of the internet, but I have fallen off the radar. I am 29 and will be 30 in April. I am getting married this May. I am a budding journalist and writer although once I was an engineer. I weigh 142.2 lbs. I want to get to 125 lbs. by my wedding. I will be completely and utterly devastated if don't get to that goal. There is no use pretending otherwise. I know that if I don't make it, I will look at every single photo of that day and say to myself 'I am too fat.'

I am aware that it shouldn't matter what I look like - that I should just be happy that I am marrying the most wonderful man I could have hoped for, but it does matter. There is nothing I can do to change that. Let it be said we are always our own worst critics.

So all I can do then, is make sure that disappointment doesn't happen.

Food for today:
Oatmeal w/ brown sugar - 3 pts.
Roasted red pepper wrap - 6 pts.
Mushroom & garlic pasta - 6.5 pts.
Wine - 3.5 pts.
Total - 19 pts.